Kirby Barks About Yard Work

Spring is finally here an my backyard is a mess with weeds an stuff! My mama works hard all week at some job she has somewhere she goes to every weekday so I wanted to shows her how much I appreciates everthin she does for me by helpin with the yard work.  I is scared of that weed eater thing but I figured I coulds cuts the grass with that big green thing they rides on. I did just gets my official drivers licence! 

I hads to gets Kora to helps me by sittin on the gas pedal cos I is really short.  All I hads to do was steer it.

It was kinda hard to drive in straight lines so I just went ever which way.  It was kinda likes I was Tony Stewart drivin his race car in fast circles all around the track!  Mama was just relaxin on the deck when all a sudden I ranned over somethin.  Me an Kora just looked at each others an started barkin for mama who camed right away. I was kinda scared it mighta been one of my cat sisters but it was just a big stick so it was ok.

Once the grass was all cut I decided to does some work in the garden beds since mama just happens to has a rake that just my size.  I knowed the difference between the weeds and the good plants cos I done watched her ever year. I does pays attention to everthing she ever says which must be whys I such a smart dog.

I pretty sure I gots ever weed in that bed an then I throwed some straw on tops for mulchin so there wernt be no more weeds growin.

Finally I was all done which was a good thing cos my paws was sore an I was so hot an tired.  That was abouts the time I woked up from my nap. Mama has tolds me sometimes I barks an moves when I sleepin so I guess I does has dreams that is so real.    

I coulds still do the yard iffen there any gas in thats gas can or I coulds does it tomorrow. It seemed easier in my dream.

Kirby Barks About Pizza

Pizza is not considered a healthy food for dogs but that don't stops me from wantin some. I has decided to share my years of experiences on how to gets some pizza from your hooman.  It must be your own hooman cos these techniques might not works on a stranger.

Step 1 - Use your sad puppy eyes.  God gaves em to us for a reason! Just be sure to never whimper or whine cos they thinks that beggin an they donts thinks that is acceptable behaviors at mealtimes.

Step 2 - Iffen that dont work then tries doin a trick the hooman will notice like "wave" or "high five" while maintainin your sad puppy eyes.

Step 3 - I has learned that most times the drool look helps cos hoomans seem to think a dog's tongue hangin out is really cute. Iffen you can gets them to say "aawww" then you is gonna gets that bite!

Step 4 - Iffen you've used these techniques too many times an your hooman has become immune to them then you may has to be a bits more dramatic so does the drool look and a trick at the same time. 

Step 5 - Iffen you still hasnt got a bite the only thing to do at this point is use your cuteness factor to the extreme and, trust me, your hooman will cave in.  Persistence is most important at this stage so donts give up.

Step 6 - Once you has finally acheived your goal of gettin a bite start over at step 1

Just likes me, you will has your hooman trained in no time!

Kirby Barks About A Driver's License

So a few weeks ago I heard about this dude by the name of Grant Weber who is a Subaru Canine Sales Associate . I loves a road trip so I called him an he asked me some questions an I answered an he said the perfect car for me is the the BRZ especially made for the alpha dog which I is cos I is the only dog, well cept for my foster doggies. Usually I sits in the back seat in my car seat but Mr. Weber said I could test drive the car so I gots to really drives it. At 34 mpg I cans be a smart dogger at the gas pump! Who needs balls when you're drivin this machine on wheels!

I liked it so much I asked mama to buys it for me but she said she couldn't affords to pay for two cars an since her car is almost paid for we should just stay with it plus we wasn't gettin paid to talks about a Subaru anyways. I said ok. 

But then I gots to thinkin that even iffen I couldnt has my own car I could still drive mama's car but she said I hads to have a driver license cos that was the law so I tried an I tried an I tried but I couldnt gets one cos ever time I tried it would change from a Mississippi license to a Missouri license an lose all my information.  Mama said I couldnt drive with a license from a state I dint lives in cos that was illegal. 

I is a law abiding canine so I called my furiend Cici, the Polka Dot Princess from Have Dog Blog Will Travel cos her an her mama bein champions for Pitties an knowins all about BSL an all that law stuff mebbe she coulds help me. I tolds her I thoughts I was bein discriminated cos I is a Dorkie which is a Dachshund/Yorkie which isn't a pure breed. Just so you knows Mama uses big words all the time so I has learned whats they mean.  I bet you thoughts we just talks about dog food but we has lots of talkin abouts important stuff all the time so I knows a lot of things.

Anyways back to my problem of hows to get that driver license.  Cici got on her cell phone (mama how come I still dont has one?) an made some phone calls to peoples she said was very important.  Then she told me to be patient which is easy cos dogs just live in the moment anyways.  So I played with Kora, chased my cat sister Kaitlyn, took a nap, played some more, checked my Facebook page thing, skyped mama to tells her to hurry up an come home, tooks another nap, nibbled on some kibble I gots out of that interactives toy in my playroom, an befores I knowed it mama had come home from seein that Mr. Job.

So by nows it was time for me an Kora to goes outside an takes care of business when I seen the missed call from Cici on mama's cell phone.  I called her backs right away an she tolds me to checks my email.

Look! Woof! I gots it! I gots it! My very own bonafides dog driver's license! Cant you sees me struttin now? I is the man dog! 

Now I is busy makin plans an checkin that google thing searchin for dog furiendly places we cans go visit since I cans do the drivin. So, um, meanwhiles who wants to takes a spin arounds the block with this Dorkie?

Thanks Cici ✿ You is the bestest!